I found myself scared

Ill be the first to admit it I do get scared when shit pops off, afterwards I find my right hand shaken. I have this sick feeling in my stomach. As everything going on I find myself fine, but its afterwards im just like "did that just happen?" Nothing really been happening in the past couple of months up till about a two weeks ago. The commander says we have the most active AO in the Al Anbar providence for the past two weeks, its not even killing season this is when insurgents are supposed to go in for the winter. Well this past week has been busy, IEDs in my platoons sector, improvised gernades, insurgents trying to over run the mayors house. The Iraqi police have enforced a curfew at 8:00. But its not the people in the city. I believe its people outside the city trying to casue all the bull, but all the roads coming in to the city have check points. The Iraqi police search all the vehicls coming into the city. My platoon has the job of manning two check points, we still have to run patrols, and pull guard at both check points. Some officer does not like our platoon. Well so Yesterday I had to go to the other check point, so the check point is closed, mayors orders. So im in the TOC , thats were the radios are. All of a sudden I hear a BOOM, I like to someone, "wow that was close". I hear one of the guard towers call up were taken "In Direct Fire" Next thing all these people take cover in the TOC. We have this camera thats sits on this tower, we see the motar rounds landing about 200 meters from in side the wire, one was 75 meters from hitting one of the guard towers dead on. So as all this is happening I call the company TOC up.

ME-Rage X Ray this is TCP 2

Rage X Ray- TCP 2 this is Rage X Ray go ahead

Me- Roger were takeing Indirect fire time now "break" Motar rounds hitting on the east side of the TCP "break" one motar round hit 50 meters from the wire "break" The other motar rounds are hitting north of the east market, approximately 75 meters off of Michigan " break" Towers and Gboss "the camera" unable to locate point of orgin "break" no caulties to report "over"

Rage X Ray said some other bull, but all that came out fast and quick as everything was happening, I found myself breaking down the information. It it important to report it to higher, communication is key. After it all happend I found my hand shaking. I think no matter how many times I go through it, Im going to find myself nervous, and shaking. I dont think its ever going to come natural to me. I tell you I see some fucked up shit, sometimes when I lay down at night I think about some of the things I see and done. I dont like to talk about it, my brother was in Afganstian, I dont think I will ever share war stories with him. If he feel the need to tell me to get it off his chest, I will listen. But most people when they tell the stories, they make it out to sound like world war 3. They make it out harder then what it really was. I tell you just how it went down. On another note my packet has been handed in to go to the board, I was like at my ERB- Enlisted Record something, it shows your whole military career. yea I have a Arcom bascially doing something outstanding.