Goal Reached!!!

So I was at the other base the one that gets motared all the damn time. I get off guard Sergent Duran runs over and says "hey lets go get it in!" Which means we going to the gym. It was a shoulder and leg day. I had my I pod and the speakers blasting my gangsta music all loud and I was feeling good. So I look at Sgt Duran and say "Im going to bench 300 lbs right now." So everyone starts getting curious coming over to watch, I warm up with 225 lbs, then I put on 300 lbs. I looked at it and said "man that bitch look heavy." I started to doubt my ablities, but I look at the crowd of people I wasnt about to make a fool out of myself. My squad leader was there, my Platoon Sergent was there. I said "fuck it lets go." So I get under it lift it up off the rack, as the bar is above me im staring at it saying to myself "Get it" So I bring the bar down as I inhale, I feel the bar touch my chest. Bam!!! I give everthing I have to push it up off my chest, I feel it raising slowly as im letting out the air from my lungs. I look at the bar and I see it going up, I can hear the screams from people "get it, you got it!" When I broke the half way point I realized that I had it. I hear people screaming "whooooooooo there you go!" I got it, I racked the bar, jumped up and started to jump and run around like an idiot, but I did not care. I had a goal and I reached it. We have this wall in our gym and spray painted on it is the 300 club, well my Platoon Sergent is up there, My work out partner is, and the LT. I said to my Platoon Sergent "300 club, Bourne" Out of 37 guys only 4 of us can bench that much weight. Iam the smallest guy with my name up on that wall. I weigh 174, give a few pounds. I dont take steriods, Just a protein shake and alot of tuna, by the way im running low on, not good. 300 CLUB BOURNE

Few people I would like to thank for helping me reach my goal.
SSG Kennedy-My main workout partner, we push either in the gym. Also a time were I was depressed and all I wanted to do was sleep you brought me back.

SGT Duran- My other workout partner, you will get were Kennedy and I are at one day. You helped with my depression and I thank you for that. "IM BACK"

XWIFE-I was down and out from your actions and the choices you made. I would like to thank you for making me stronger emotionally, and physically. You gave me motivation to be a better person/man. You sent me a email saying "I havent heard from you in a while.... everything ok? Everything is fine since you left me, and there is a reason why you havent heard from me in so long.

I found myself scared

Ill be the first to admit it I do get scared when shit pops off, afterwards I find my right hand shaken. I have this sick feeling in my stomach. As everything going on I find myself fine, but its afterwards im just like "did that just happen?" Nothing really been happening in the past couple of months up till about a two weeks ago. The commander says we have the most active AO in the Al Anbar providence for the past two weeks, its not even killing season this is when insurgents are supposed to go in for the winter. Well this past week has been busy, IEDs in my platoons sector, improvised gernades, insurgents trying to over run the mayors house. The Iraqi police have enforced a curfew at 8:00. But its not the people in the city. I believe its people outside the city trying to casue all the bull, but all the roads coming in to the city have check points. The Iraqi police search all the vehicls coming into the city. My platoon has the job of manning two check points, we still have to run patrols, and pull guard at both check points. Some officer does not like our platoon. Well so Yesterday I had to go to the other check point, so the check point is closed, mayors orders. So im in the TOC , thats were the radios are. All of a sudden I hear a BOOM, I like to someone, "wow that was close". I hear one of the guard towers call up were taken "In Direct Fire" Next thing all these people take cover in the TOC. We have this camera thats sits on this tower, we see the motar rounds landing about 200 meters from in side the wire, one was 75 meters from hitting one of the guard towers dead on. So as all this is happening I call the company TOC up.

ME-Rage X Ray this is TCP 2

Rage X Ray- TCP 2 this is Rage X Ray go ahead

Me- Roger were takeing Indirect fire time now "break" Motar rounds hitting on the east side of the TCP "break" one motar round hit 50 meters from the wire "break" The other motar rounds are hitting north of the east market, approximately 75 meters off of Michigan " break" Towers and Gboss "the camera" unable to locate point of orgin "break" no caulties to report "over"

Rage X Ray said some other bull, but all that came out fast and quick as everything was happening, I found myself breaking down the information. It it important to report it to higher, communication is key. After it all happend I found my hand shaking. I think no matter how many times I go through it, Im going to find myself nervous, and shaking. I dont think its ever going to come natural to me. I tell you I see some fucked up shit, sometimes when I lay down at night I think about some of the things I see and done. I dont like to talk about it, my brother was in Afganstian, I dont think I will ever share war stories with him. If he feel the need to tell me to get it off his chest, I will listen. But most people when they tell the stories, they make it out to sound like world war 3. They make it out harder then what it really was. I tell you just how it went down. On another note my packet has been handed in to go to the board, I was like at my ERB- Enlisted Record something, it shows your whole military career. yea I have a Arcom bascially doing something outstanding.

Going to the board

So I was in the gym last night with my work out team. I work out with the Lt, a Staff Sergent, and Sergent Duran. Well Sgt Duran told me last night Im going to the board around the 20th of March. I have always had a problem speaking in front of people. The board is made up of First Sergents and Sergent Majors, basically my boss's. So now that I know Im going for sure, I started studying. I have the Army study guide on my computer, and its over 200 pages. I have to study it all. So on my free time instead of blogging I will be studying. I look foward to just getting it out of the way. So Sgt Duran told me if I volnteer to come back here with 4th birgade that I would not be going to the board. So Im just going to stay state side. That pay jump is to good to pass up. Now that I have something thats prolly going to take up most of my time, I wont be missing home as much. If I pass this board I will feel like the man, life has thrown some tough shit at me, I read about peoples problems, people tell me about there problems and I just laugh and say "thats it?"I feel like I can take on the mother fucking world, the train is back on the track. Im starting to think im coming out of the tunnel in to the light.

Someone there for me?

You ever just want someone to talk to about your problems. For 8 months of this deployment I had someone I could call. Talk to them about my problems, look to them for advice, tell them about my day. But that person being my x wife abandon me over 5 months ago. Now I feel like I have nobody to call, I feel like nobody cares what im going through. Yea I call my momma up to let her know im doing good, and remind her that im bullet and IED proof, im jk. But I guess Im just so use to having someone to talk, someone there for me, someone who loved me now its gone. somedays I would just like to call someone tell them all about my problems get it off my chest, vent. But just like that its gone. Im finding this hard to explaine, but im sure you have to know were im coming from.
But in other news we should be leaving the city we are in charge of around the 27 of FEB, which is good I guess. But from there we will move to another base and sit there for around 3 weeks doing nothing. But I would much rather be working, it makes the time go by quicker. Also there is talks about me going to the board to get promoted in the month of March. I was a team leader for most of the deployment, but politics sent down someone higher ranking then me and he replaced me. But Im a much better team leader then he is. But me going to the board if I pass I will be promoted to Sergent. With less then 2 1/2 years in the army, to be promoted that fast is really good. But what can I say im the man, wait im a stud. Not cocky just confident.
So today we had a dismount patrol, the kids asking for football, chocolate, pencil. They just keep asking and asking. The kids that dont ask I usually give them stuff. So im walking down I see this little girl, it breaks my heart the life she goes through, she is standing there and bunch of mother fuckers with guns are walking down her street, not to mention she falls asleeps to gun fire and the sounds of explosions. She will prolly be married at the ago of 15 years old and her life is over. She will be a slave, they have a saying over here for the Iraqi men "woman are for babies, men are for pleasure." I know right. But when I walked by the little girl I gave her my only pen that I had on me. The smile that she had put a smile on my face, as I continued on down the street I turned around and I see her showing the pen to her father. Now she can do her school work. Pens and Pencils are hard to come by over here. This country is a long way off, but it is alot better then what it was when I first got here.